Thursday, August 27, 2009

Just a few thoughts

Well, I have just finished 9 weeks and two long days since I fell and broke my shoulder and two or three other bones. I am still in rehab, not for alcohol or drug addiction, though had I had access to them, and a drinker, I guess I could have been in rehab for all I've been through.

I am down to two days instead of three weekly trips. This was really my back way of cutting these trips down from three original ones over the last few weeks. I've been on this schedule for maybe two weeks. I hope it isn't a mistake and I don't pay for it down the road a ways, but three days a week of my life, please!

These sessions leave me completely wiped out. I'm not worth anything the rest of the day and the next after going. I'm sure it is not that bad a thing, but it exhausts me. I also know that the day after I will be so sore from the treatments. I guess that's a sign it really is good for me.

This is a recap of just a few of the things I did today and my thoughts:

Today was a very aggressive day. I had a couple of days like that a couple of weeks ago when another employee, a female, did my therapy rather than my usual young man. You never want to meet this girl on the street and try to attack her. She gets you into an arm hold you won't get out of and she inflicts major, major pain! But, I must say I was much better after those two sessions with her. She just may have been moving forward at a faster speed than he had planned, or I, for that matter.

And I guess I should take this comment from her as a compliment: "You're tough, you know it? You laid here with all this and you never said a peep." She obviously hadn't noticed I had lost consciousness from all the pain, so to keep from embarassing her, I replied, "Well, don't let me deceive you. It was very, very painful!"

I was at the point where I still could not reach behind my back. Now that's a pretty important thing to be able to do. You might find a time when your back itches and your husband is a lousy back scratcher...ehhmmmm! Or, it's also nice to be able bathe the back part of your back or even the opposite side of your body. It comes in handy to have that other hand available. Not to mention, washing and rolling your hair involves a lot of both arm usage.

Anyway, I was getting concerned that I was at the end of my sessions (or so I so naively thought) and I couldn't comfortably reach my backside using that injured arm. Well, little did I know that just mentioning my concerns would inflict such damage to an already damaged body part. So, we have been on a very aggressive, painful road for the last couple of weeks.

Today was no different. First it was stand with that hand behind your back and move it out for 8 times and repeat it for three sets. I've mentioned this before, but just to put the emphasis on it: Never, in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought that a broken bone could feel like such dead weight. I can only imagine it must be the way someone who has suffered a stroke must feel when trying to force themselves to move a given body part. It was so heavy I couldn't get it far from my back a few weeks ago. Today was a little better because I've been practicing.

That all came to a halt when he told me he wanted me to lie down on the bed, face down, arm behind my back and raise that arm just as I had done with great difficulty when I was standing. It was pure misery. Dead weight. The brain tells you what you want it to do, but the arm won't move. He helped me guide it until I finally could do a few slight lifts for, you got it, 3 sets of eight!

Then he says, "You're going to love this one. I want you to stay on your stomach and I'm going to stretch your arm behind your back." Oh joy! I could hardly wait. He was very thoughtful. He had left a pillow there in case the pain was so intense I could just scream into it...or smother myself with it!

I know he was distracted by something else because I know he held my arm stretched out for way longer than the 30 second hold he keeps telling me to hold on for.

I really didn't think he would ever stop. It really hurt bad. I told him I didn't think we would get my arm back down again, once he had stopped. He assured me we would. That's another thing. Once it goes up, it can be very difficult to bring it back down. We did, together, get it back down. It will get easier; it's got to.

I hate doing the bands most of all. First of all don't talk to me while I'm trying to count off my sets. Second, I don't like change. Once I've learned something, don't change the direction I'm supposed to go. Don't change my game plan. And that's what he decided to do, to add a little interest and strength training, I suppose. I just can't seem to remember those new two steps he's added. I'm sure he thinks I'm showing signs of Alzheimers, and very well this would be causing it. He says I have to memorize it. It's math. I automatically shut out anything that's math. Where's the math you ask? Remembering which set of 8's or 10's or even 12's I'm on, maybe? Just leave me alone and let's move on to something I like better.

And earlier, he piped up with, "Let's do 45 each way and each side on that ball, and really push into it this time." This means 45 times up and down, 45 times side to side, 45 times circle right, 45 times circle left, then turn to my side and repeat everything all over again. Your arm feels like it wants to break off by the time you're finished.

The ball has an ugly face with a tongue sticking out. I tell him, "This is your face you know!" He thinks I'm kidding. No, no, no, I'm very serious. And he also hands me a ball filled with sand that must weigh 50 lbs. and tells me to push that up the wall 15 times.

As part of my regimen I have to hold three pound weights in each hand and lift them a little above shoulder height and bring them back down almost straight down, but stop and do it again. Twelve times, 3 sets. Today must have been an off-day because I was staggering over the floor by the time I reached #12, third set. Actually, I think he increased them from 10 times, 3 sets. Six times up and down really makes a difference.

I had a conversation with another woman who was in there the first time I was there this week. I hate a show off. There she was making those bands look so easy. I told her when I would be back, and I contracted with her to come at the same time and do those bands for me since she knows them so well.

She said nobody had told her how awful this physical therapy would be. She wasn't expecting to have to go so long and she had to make arrangements for having her kids picked up and all the sheer pain you have to go through once you became involved.

But she did agree to show up today and do my sessions with those dumb bands. Well, she either forgot her committment or she's a drop out, or they killed her after I left, because she was nowhere to be found when it came time for me to deal with those things. I had to suffer through another session of those dreaded things.

Here is a little saying they have in the physical therapists office. I pulled it up from the internet and there wasn't anyone to credit for it, but it is very appropriate and funny. You have to keep a sense of humor or you'll never make it through life. Even if it is a strange sense of humor.

Ten 'Nevers' to do in Physical Therapy
1. Never say you can't because you will do it anyway.
2. Never say "It's easy" because we'll make it hard.
3. Never say "I want to go home" because you'll just stay longer.
4. Never lose count because you will start at 1 again.
5. Never complain because we'll never listen.
6. Never argue because you'll never win.
7. Never scream or cry bcause it only encourages us.
8. Never look like you're enjoying it because we'll put a stop to it.
9. Never hold your breath because if you pass out and die, we'll have to do paperwork.
10.Never lie or cheat because we know the truth and you'll live to regret it.

Truer words were never spoken. I can relate to every one of those "Nevers".

I've learned you just do a lot of praying the days you have therapy, and on the days you don't have therapy you're just thankful for the reprieve. It's been quite an humbling experience to say the least.

But, lest you think I'm ungrateful, I'm not. It's been a long row to hoe, but this therapy also has been the biggest blessing. For all those 'evil' bone breaking physical therapist, and mine in particular, you are a Godsend to me and others who've needed you. Thank you for all your hard work and especially your patience. Especially with a woman who can't remember which way she's supposed to turn, whether this exercise she's supposed to keep the arm straight or bend the elbow and whether's she's counted as high as she was told after doing a set. I couldn't do it without you...though I'm really getting ready to try it alone, and soon. Please?

Not so good...

Annabelle spent Saturday night with us while Mommy and Daddy went out on a 'date night'. They don't get a chance to do much without their little tagalong, but this was planned months in advance when her Mommy had bought tickets for Annabelle's Daddy's father's day surprise for an up-coming event.

During the night I awoke to the sounds coming from the baby monitor at my head. "I need you! I need you!" Those were words I didn't wait to react to. I flew into her room to check on her. She staggered to get up onto her feet and was ready to get out of bed. I picked her up and instantly knew she wasn't feeling well. She was so hot, literally from her head to her little feet. It's not unusual for her to feel hotter than I expect her to, so since she was at this point, wide awake and laughing at different things that had happened, I asked her if she wanted me to sleep in the big bed with her. Of course, she agreed.

It's hard not to carry on a conversation with an almost three year old when you're moving them from one place to the other, so I broke the cardinal rule set by her Mommy, and found myself quite engaged in conversation somewhere between 12:30 and 1:00. I thought we should go back to sleep, but she was wide awake and chattered away for at least an hour. But at least she seemed to be feeling better and not quite so hot.

When I remembered Mommy's rule and fell silent, she finally went back to sleep. By then I was wide awake, feeling of her to make sure she wasn't getting too, too hot again, listening to those sweet little snores she does and has since birth, and even snickered at times when I heard her at one point say to someone unknown to me, "Tank Coo!" as she accepted something from someone in her sleep. She talked in her sleep about other things too, but I don't remember exactly what. That was the funny thing she had said.

Of course, while she slept, I tossed and turned, finally getting up to play on the computer and back again. The last time I saw the clock it was 6:17. Sometime after that I was awakened by "I want Mommy!" I explained to her she would see Mommy later and asked if I could do something for her. Finally she said, "Can we get up now?" This was approximately 7:05! And we did get up. She played for a while and then we went to eat at Granddaddy's favorite place for breakfast...Hardees. She ate a fairly good breakfast and laughed and acted almost normal again.

Since she had so little sleep during the night, Mommy and I decided she needed a nap, so I put her down after the usual stories and songs and a piece of peppermint candy as well as three M & M's to take care of her trips to the potty where she had earned them.

She slept for almost an hour and woke up crying. I could tell she sounded like she was trying to get her breath as in coughing, etc. so I went in and got her up. We didn't make it to the bathroom before she threw up on the floor. I put her down and she flew across the hall to the bathroom. She lifted the toilet seat and leaned her little head over and threw up. It looked like blood. I began to worry because she had been so hot last night. I washed her little face with a wash cloth and told her to hold on, I was calling Mommy. Mommy had planned to work at the office because she and Daddy both have been slammed with work. Mommy immediately said she was on her with. I checked Annabelle's temperature with a thermometer this time and it was 101.8, orally. I called Mommy and told her to bring some Tylenol and since she had been so hot last night and still now, she might need to give her some.

While I was trying to take care of this business on the side (Granddaddy had gone to meet her Daddy at Home Depot to pick up a steel door to put on my laundry room) she was still trying to finish her throwing up episode at the toilet. After standing for a few minutes with her head hung over the toilet, she reaches over for her little step stool she uses to climb up onto the potty. Instead of climbing up onto the potty, she pulled it over and sat down on it in front of the potty. I certainly never suggested it, but she had felt so rotten, and since I was on the phone with Mommy, she figured out what to do all by herself. She was sick. Too sick to stand. Solved problem by
herself. There are somethings that you can see the humor in even when one you love is very sick, if you just look.Even though it was a sad, sad thing it was so cute she had figured out what to do.

As she and I waited for Mommy, I told her that I would take care of her until Mommy got over here for her. She listened as I told her I would care for her and then she said, "Me and Mommy were both sick the last time!" To which I reminded her, Yes, and I had taken care of both of them then. (More her than Mommy. Mommy had to fend for herself that time since Annabelle was my top priority.) This had been many, many months ago since they had been at our house and the two of them were sick at the same time. Her memory is something else.

Mommy came and took Annabelle's temperature the way she takes it and it was 101.9. This was after I had been washing her face and body off with a wet cloth to try to help break the fever. Mommy gave her some Tylenol and she was playing around feeling a little better, but not really up to her old self. She was so very, very pale. Mommy talked her into the two of them going on home.

Work Deadlines or no Work Deadlines, sometimes Mommies and only Mommies are what they need to recover.

Hope you feel better soon, Sweetie. I love you, All the way to the Moon and back!

The Country Mouse and The City Mouse

When Annabelle spent Saturday night with us, she and I went through the ritual of reading books, singing, etc. before bedtime. She loves some of the small, thin versions of some of the classic tales and could read them over and over again without tiring of them.

The Country Mouse and The City Mouse was one of her choices for the night, this time. As I began reading to her, she stopped me, hopped down and flew out of the room. I was completely surprised, since I knew she was enjoying the book. But I waited, because without a doubt there had to be logic behind the leaving.

She re-entered the room almost as fast as she had left it, with something clutched inside her little hands. She carefully placed it into my hand and said, "Dare, Grandmomma." She had brought me the computer mouse from my computer. She had remembered seeing it when I had moved it earlier in the night. Everybody needs a Country Mouse, a City Mouse and a Computer Mouse when they read a good story!

It never ceases to amaze me just what is going on inside that sweet little girl's head.

Feel better soon, Sweetheart, Grandmomma's missed you! Captain D's is not the same without you. Your Great Aunt, Great Uncle, Granddaddy and Grandmomma all said so. It's all just a dull meal without you to entertain us!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Little Attitude

So, tonight was the first time since I broke my shoulder and another bone or two since Annabelle has spent the night with us. Mommy and Daddy had a date night that didn't include her. It was planned at least four months or more ago, so I knew I had to get over this shoulder mess by this time, at least enough to handle Annabelle. With Granddaddy's help, of course.

She's always a pleasure to take with us. She never complains, she just goes where ever we go and if we say she needs to stay in the car this time, she does and if next time she can get out she also does.

She was her usual squirmy little self tonight at McDonald's, but while she had to go potty a big group of people came in and occupied the spots next to us, therefore keeping her more confined. Thank goodness for small blessings.

She was cooperative during our final runs of errands and then it was back to the house for some playtime. She loves playing on the screened in porch, then we went inside for a few things to entertain us there. I had bought some Tangrams which I introduced her to for the first time tonight. She loved making the different shapes with them and when she was finished I mentioned to her the different colored zipper represented the color that held that particular color shape so she could put them back in their right bag. Being the little renegade she is, she didn't want them put back into the bag they were supposed to go in, so she changed the color bag and the color shape into different ones. Just because she could.

She had taken one that we called a pie (really it was a triangle shape) in for Granddaddy to 'eat'. Granddaddy asked her what it was. She came running back into the room with me pretending to cry. "Granddaddy didn't know it was a piece of pie!" says she. Sometimes Granddaddy just doesn't see things like Annabelle and I do.

As we put them away for the night into their big plastic container, she took the lid and turned it first this way (wrong way, of course) and said, "Is dis right?" Then another way which she knew was wrong and we played this game throughout every possible way it could have been wrong before she hit the right spot. She knew, she knew what she was doing! This is a game for her. She just messes with your mind, she thinks. I have no doubt she knew which was the right way to begin with. She's just challenging you. Pretty smart, I think, if you ask me.

Mommy said she probably would need to go to bed early, so we started around 7:45. It was around 8:30 before I finally got her into bed. It really wasn't her fault, though. We did our songs, (one was Mommy's song because she didn't remember the words to it and I certainly didn't know it, so it must have been Mommy's song), our books to read, our peppermint patty, our juice and water and then I sent her to go potty and then to brush her teeth. All had gone just fine until the teethbrushing episode.

Part of me said, "Remove her shirt before she brushes her teeth." The other part apparently wanted to live dangerously and left the silly pajama shirt on. Yep, by the time she had finished brushing her teeth she had wet the entire front of her pajama shirt. No problem, I thought. This would be a good time for my new dryer to jump into action and show just how fast it could dry that little shirt. I sent Granddaddy in to throw it into the dryer. After a few minutes it still wasn't dry. Then I took matters into my own hands and threw in a dry towel to help absorb the moisture. That didn't help. After probably 10 minutes or more of trying to dry that silly shirt I gave up. It had letters saying 'sleepy head' on the front and those letters had no intentions of drying tonight. So, I did the next best thing. I scrounged through her bag and found a bright lime green one. Bright enough to match those pajama pants I thought. I came toward her to put it over her head and she promptly says, "Grandmomma, that doesn't match!" "What?" Again she said the same thing. At this point it was so funny I had to laugh at her to her face. "Little attitude!" I told her and pulled that lime green top over that cute little head and left the room. It's dark when the lights are out, Annabelle, it doesn't matter if they don't match. Believe me! It won't bother me half as much as it bothers you, really it won't. Good night, I love you!

I do love you and unless you do something to change my mind before your Mommy and Daddy come to get you tomorrow, I'll still love you...all the way to the moon and back. And that's a long, long way. They even have to go on rocket ships to get there and back.

Hope you had a good time, Mommy and Daddy. And don't forget to bring my camera back tomorrow. You can download the pictures before you leave home!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Nice try, kiddo, nice try!

While we were at Captain D's I leaned over and whispered to Annabelle and said:
Grandmomma: I love you!
Annabelle: I love you!
Grandmomma: I love you more!
Annabelle: No, I love you more!
Grandmomma: NO, I love you more!
Annabelle: NO, I love you more!
Grandmomma: I love you all the way to the moon!
Annabelle: I love you all the way to the moon!
Grandmomma: I love you all the way to the moon and back!
Annabelle: No, I love you all the way to the moon and back!

On and on we went playing this little game. One trying to outdo the other. This reminded me of the little story about 'How much do I love you', which I love so much maybe because my then college-aged daughter, Annabelle's Mommy, bought the big hard-back version for me for Mother's Day or my birthday, I can't remember which. I think it had just come out around then or maybe had won a big prize for childrens books. It quickly became one of my favorites. She knew it would.

And, Miss Annabelle, since I have the last word on this here...I love you all the way to the moon...and back many, many times.

I hope this will become one of your very favorite books in the future, too.

Wednesday, while we were returning to our house from Captain D's, from the back seat the Little Princess set forth her ideas for what we would do when we got home.

Annabelle: "Grandmomma, when we get back to your house, after we play with the ABC's, we can watch a little T.V.!" And there was a devious little look on that sweet little face.

Umm, I don't think so little one. Your Mommy doesn't look too kindly on "watching a little t.v." Once we got home she never mentioned it again. She found other things to play with.

Nice try, anyway, Sweetie.

Friday, August 7, 2009

At least someone feels sorry for me

As I have had to add different things to my routine to strengthen my shoulder and arm, I have shared them with Annabelle. I've encouraged her to do the things I know she can do. Yesterday as Granddaddy, Mommy and I were still eating our meal, I noticed Annabelle standing over at the wall. She was slowly doing my wall walks walking like a little spider, up and down. She also likes using the ball, pushing it up and far as she can and back again.

I saw her using my tubing as she tried to exercise her arm by pulling it back and forth, only she didn't exactly have it down right. She would turn it loose and let it fly back against the door. That one and the others can be kinda a problem. I understand how she can get confused. She also does her counting as she exercises. So cute. May you never have to use the exercises in real life form, Sweetie, but my bet is the odds are against you making it as many years as your Grandmomma did before she broke her first bone. Grandmomma isn't exactly excited about trying to break another one, either. It's way too much stress and pain for an old woman like me.

Annabelle also loves showing me she can pick up a two pound weight in each hand and heist it over her shoulder. She really scares me because I am so afraid she will fall backward and really injures herself.

She loves using my squeeze balls but mostly she likes for those to be made into babies. One day I picked one up and squeezed it out of shape and she told Mommy that Grandmomma had messed up her baby and wanted to know why I had done it. Simply because I didn't know it was her baby, maybe???

Next I will have to show her how I have to use a towel to pull my left arm behind my back and up my back so I can hopefully get that shoulder/arm behind my back as far as the other one. That's going to be the bugger out of all my therapy, I'm afraid. I don't look forward to the next few weeks forcing that arm behind me, but it's pretty essential. There are times when I need to use it. I will continue to try and I know Annabelle will be right there feeling sorry for me and helping keep up my spirits as well. I need all the help I can get.

Just the bare-bottom facts for you

Mommy had given permission for Annabelle and me to watch a few cartoons while she and Granddaddy were working on putting new flooring down and re-hooking the dryer vent in the utility room. (I still say Granddaddy is being babied way too much for my broken shoulder, but I guess he figures if he can milk it for all it's worth, why not?)

Annabelle watched a few of the Jon and Katie Plus 8 before she became antsy and had to move on. She decided to search through her little bag of supplies I have for her to use for her hair when she comes to visit. Well, inside that bag were a couple of boxes of bandages. She had to pull them out to examine them more closely and wanted to know if they were hers (after all they were in her little bag.) So she proceeds to open the box and spread them all over the floor in Annabelle fashion. She decided she wanted one on her body somewhere, anywhere, so since she had a mosquito bite on her back side I pasted one over the injured spot.

"I go show Mommy," says she as she flies to the utility room before I can remind her Mommy was on the outside of the house pushing the dryer vent back into the house. Not to worry.

Into the utility room still shouting, " Mommy, Mommy, I need you, Mommy, Mommy, where are you? Mommy, Mommy, come see!" When she realized Mommy was at the hole in the wall, so she dropped to the floor onto her tummy and scooted her little bare-bottom over as close to the dryer hole as she can get. "Look, Mommy, look!" Then her Mommy saw the bandaid on her cute little bare bottom. Mommy couldn't miss it. She was on the ladder and at direct eye level. "I see! says Mommy.

Granddaddy reminded me of this little episode at lunch today when we were talking about things she had done yesterday. He said he wished he had the camera handy when it happened so he could get pictures. The movie camera would have been best to capture this moment in her life.

Why was she bare-bottomed, you ask? Just because she's Annabelle and she can be bare-bottomed. Also when she goes potty, it's fun and easier to drop your panties and leave them when there's no one handy to pull them up.